Me Vs. My Fire Alarm

alarm

Have you ever been so lazy that the steps you take to avoid doing something end up requiring more energy than had you just fixed the problem in the first place? Welcome to the Mexican stand off between me and my fire alarm. Am I allowed to say “Mexican” these days? I don’t know what’s racist anymore. But ANYWAY it all started about two weeks ago when I was watching TV, minding my own business, and a chirping noise much like the kind you would imagine a winged creature from the jurassic Read More…

Slackers Inc.

LazyHippo

Because slacking off can be hard work. Let me do it for you. I’m not sure I could have found a more appropriate image to depict what I’ve looked like over the past month than this hippo sadly watching all of his life’s goals and dreams escape him. Actually, scratch that. If this hippo were laying upside down off a shredded Ikea couch watching his sixteenth episode in a row of House Of Cards and not understanding a damn minute of it, then we’d have a bingo. But this is Read More…

Under Pressure: The Perks And Pitfalls

UnderPressure

I once went on a job interview for a production gig that I wanted very badly. Everything was going great until the interviewer asked me if I worked well under pressure. “Oh, definitely.” I began. “I thrive under pressure. In fact, from working behind extremely busy bars for so long, being under pressure is where I’m most comfortable. I mean, I know I’m not here for a bar job, so, I’m not sure why I brought that up exactly, but I assume the level of pressure is around the same. Read More…

Valentine’s Day

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One time on Valentine’s Day, I got my girly on, and wore an adorable little skirt, and a pink and white striped sweater, with a fake fur jacket, and got my hair and nails all did, and was super excited to go out to a fancy dinner. I had no idea where we were headed but Jeff’s “I got this” face was enough to make me all bouncy in the cab on the way. He took me to Peter Luger’s. Possibly one of the best steak houses in the country, but it was Read More…

The Rheel Daze Is On Hiatus

Hiatus

Right about now (that being 9:38 in the morning) on the day a post is due, I usually find myself scrambling to type as furiously as I can in an effort to deliver it on time. In today’s case it would have been a Weekly Bitch. On Fridays it’s either a Snippet or a Slackers. Mondays I try to do lengthier entries that I’ve taken a significant amount of time to construct. Recently though, I’m finding more and more, that I’m not happy with what I’m putting out. Being a Read More…

I’m Breaking Up With Food

food

Lately it seems as though this blog has become one long Addicts Anonymous meeting, whether it be Chapstickers Anonymous (which actually exists btw) or Gossip Guzzlers Anonymous or the constant mentions of my Diet Coke habit. Jesus, when I see it all written out like that I’m amazed I can still hold a job or pay my rent. (Well…I could hold a job, if I had one that is.) All of those things are in good fun though. However, there’s one particularly nasty relationship that I’ve had for as long as Read More…

Ten Reasons Why Coming Home From Vacation Is The Best

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In case you didn’t know, I’ve been writing these last couple of posts from Puerto Rico, where I’ve had one of the most awesome trips ever with my family and two of my best friends. However, with the sadness setting in over the thought of returning to the frigid stylings of New York City in less than twenty-four hours, I felt like I needed a little pick me up to remind myself that coming home from vacation isn’t always so bad. In fact, it can be the best! Here’s what I Read More…

Weekly Bitches: Hand Dryers

HandDryers

Putting positivity in its place! But only for a minute. I promise. To see what the Weekly Bitches are all about, look here. Otherwise, enjoy! In the history of the world, has a hand dryer ever succeeded at drying a person’s hands to even a reasonable level? I’m not saying I need mine to be on par with what a wind tunnel would do to a commercial jet during aerodynamics testing, however I’d like to be able to use one and then touch the knob of a bathroom door without Read More…

Only At The Airport

AirportRag

Around my thirtieth birthday, I decided it was time to kick this filthy little habit I had of reading gossip magazines. I’m not even sure when I started being interested in celebrity culture. I don’t remember buying US Weekly in high school but then I had a boyfriend with a Jeep, so I had better stuff to do. However upon leaving my twenties, I felt I could no longer justify supporting, not only the outrageous amount of attention and importance we place on movie stars but also the insanely invasive Read More…

Slackers Inc.

SleepyKangaroos

Because slacking off can be hard work. Let me do it for you. You ever wake up at the crack of dawn and then can’t get back to sleep? Wait a minute. Of course you do. You have jobs. I should gets one for those at some point. In fact, I am! Very soon. But I’m not going to say what just yet. Instead I will continue to try and distract you from yours with my fantastic internet finds. Because it’s Friday and slacking is we do best. Here you Read More…