Did I really just see this?

Pre-natal pole dancing classes?

Forgive me. Normally, I couldn’t be less interested in writing about women’s business because the people who do, can’t help but come off as irritating, or irritated rather, like how Jezebel seems to be in a perpetual state of being offended over the way Lena Dunham gets treated but I was just at the gym and nearly fell off the treadmill when I saw an excerpt on TV about heavily pregnant women, dressed like strippers, working a pole. I can’t find a link. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

I don’t understand this need to be sexy at every given moment. It seems that women these days can’t cut themselves a break. Just look at Facebook. I see puckering up and smizing in the most mundane of situations. Can someone please tell me what the fuck this face is?

P.S. I took about twenty of these trying to get one that perfectly conveyed the ridiculousness of the look that I’m talking about but ultimately, I ended up choosing the most flattering photo, so fuck me too. My hair looks awesome BTW.

I see it EVERYWHERE and I’m sorry but it looks retarded. I have friends whose entire Instagram accounts are of them making this face whilst getting drinks, driving a car, picking up their mail, hey it’s a lunch break PHOTOSHOOT! (I love you girls but we’ve had this conversation already, so don’t hate me) I don’t even know what this face is supposed to be. Are they sucking in their cheeks trying to make their skull look thinner?

This is a picture of Rhianna from a couple of days ago.

Like, ewwwww!

“Just walking down the street with a pic of a woman fingering herself on my chest. Wonder where I can get some coffee?”

And now we have pole dancing for pregnant women. I’m not saying that women who are pregnant shouldn’t feel, or aren’t sexy but when there is a nine month old fetus inside of you, maybe that’s a time to experiment with different kinds and not the more obvious form of being awkwardly bent over a metal rod with a nearly full grown baby resting on your ribcage.

Sexy has become the “go-to” state of being for lots of women in everything they do, like they’re almost on a seductive autopilot, even though there are so many other options. We can be funny or weird or how about awkward?. I do awkward really well.

And I struggle with even writing this because at the same time I’m all for women being able to do whatever they want with their bodies, in whatever way they choose. So if a woman feels the need to do a pole dance in the delivery room, then I guess, go for it?

It’s only my opinion that sex has gotten boring. It’s everywhere. Sometimes I just want to avoid it when I’m at the grocery store.

Or the library.

Or in my grandmother’s bathroom….

Not my actual grandmother.

I’m over sexy. I want to give it back.

P.S. These funny photos came from here.