Eye Spy: Astoria

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On a fairly regular basis, I find myself nearly walking into sign posts or tripping off of curbs whilst walking down the street as I’m straining my neck in order to peer into stranger’s half open windows. I’m terribly nosy and I don’t mind being inappropriate about it. If you’ve invited me into your house and dare to leave me alone long enough for you to use the bathroom, it’s likely that when you return you’ll catch me peeking into your fridge or abruptly shutting a junk drawer. I love Read More…

Slackers Inc.

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It’s Friday. Let’s not pretend like any work is getting done. Here are some fun links: My friend Lorraine put me on to this. BIC came out with a pen just for us ladies. It’s about time our individual and very specific writing needs were met. Here are some awesome reviews for this revolutionary new product. And this one came from Rochelle (thank God for Facebook). I do not envy men in the online dating scene. As if these things aren’t hard enough! I am at least four of these people. Bacon Read More…

My TONY Subscription Is Stressing Me Out

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I hate missing out on things. Even when they’re bad. I remember about five years ago there was a gigantic steam pipe explosion in midtown on a corner two blocks from where I was supposed to be meeting a friend. An hour before it happened, I decided to reschedule. Later when I found out about all of the chaos that ensued precisely where I was supposed to be, I was super annoyed at the fact that I had bailed and now had no harrowing story of survival to tell everyone I Read More…

Situations I’m Awkward In

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I could assemble an entire blog devoted to just this subject but in the interest of saving time, I’ve narrowed my list down to things that in the last month alone, have turned me into a neurotic mess. Using A New Weight Machine At the Gym I try to appear like I know what I’m doing at all times. This is really hard when I’m at the gym and I see equipment I’ve never used before. The last thing I want to do is straddle something only to find out Read More…

Slackers Inc.

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For anyone who didn’t read last Monday’s post let me bring you up to speed. I am recently unemployed, which in all honesty, is by far my favorite state of being. I settle into it with such ease, like it’s what I was born to do. I’m already up til 4 a.m., napping mid-afternoon and not doing my laundry because I rarely change my clothes. However, I don’t want to experience complete mental atrophy, so I figured now would be a great time to expand therheeldaze with a new feature! Slackers Read More…

Valentine’s Day

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One time on Valentine’s Day, I got my girly on, and wore an adorable little skirt, and a pink and white striped sweater, with a fake fur jacket, and got my hair and nails all did, and was super excited to go out to a fancy dinner. I had no idea where we were headed but Jeff’s “I got this” face was enough to make me all bouncy in the cab on the way. He took me to Peter Luger’s. Possibly one of the best steak houses in the country, but it Read More…

Ain’t No Babies Up In This Crib

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Whether or not I want to have kids is something I’ve always been unsure of. My pendulum of emotions on the subject swings so drastically that in the span of a month, I can go from being one of those self-righteous assholes who dry heaves any time the subject of babies comes up, to practically scanning the subway for potential sperm donors. Being in my thirties isn’t helping, especially since I’m not in any position to have a child right now. As the time slips away to potentially mother something, Read More…

In Vanity We Trust

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I’ve always been a vain person. I blame my mother. Growing up, she was constantly telling me how beautiful and smart I was and I believed her. Back then it was great, however, now that I’m getting older, it’s becoming harder and harder to maintain the “beautiful” part. “But you’re still smart and funny and creative!” one might say. Screw that, I want to be pretty! And I know I’m not the only one. If I was, I wouldn’t be reading about people enduring things like snake massages or getting their Read More…

A Lone Star In Texas

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Doing things by myself has never been a favorite past time of mine. I always marvel at people who can go to the movies by themselves or sit solitarily in a diner. Especially if they choose a booth and not the counter. How can people eat all by their lonesomes, just staring at that empty seat across the table from them? It’s like my worst nightmare. I’m just too insecure to risk being out alone and having everyone looking at me thinking what a LOSER! However, recently my friends have Read More…

Ten Reasons I Know I’m Getting Older

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Getting older was never really something I concerned myself with, mostly because in my mind, it wasn’t happening to me. I mean, I still live like someone in their twenties. I’m not married, I have no kids, and I don’t know what a 401K is. However, lately I’ve been taking notice of some things that are somewhat alarming to me, and I’m pretty sure they’re signs that I’m getting older. #1 I Can’t Take Foul Language Yes, I know I use it on this site quite regularly, but six-year-olds aren’t Read More…