The Whole Three Yards

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An experiment in getting everything you want, without having to work too hard. A few months ago, when I first launched this website, I included a post that aimed to explore whether or not it was possible to turn your life around, without all of that dogged determination and hard work that the President and Oprah are always talking about. Every success story we hear is plagued by it. Some over-achiever being interviewed on Nightline about how he/she worked day and night in order to open their little store which is Read More…

Ten Reasons Why Coming Home From Vacation Is The Best

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Going on vacation can be lots of fun, but there usually comes a point where you’re over everything and everyone around you and you just want to go home. Here are ten reasons why you don’t have to mourn the end of your holiday: #1. You Can Relax Sure that’s what you were supposed to be doing while you were on vacation, but instead, you filled every day, for a week straight, with one activity that was more insane than the last. Instead of lying on your couch, watching TV like Read More…

I Love Being At The Airport!

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Is there anywhere more exciting to be than the airport? Not like picking up or dropping off a friend, that sucks, but when you’re about to head off on an adventure, it’s the first stop on your trip, where you can experience all the crazy shit that the world has to offer. Including yourself. You Can Be A Totally Different Person I lie to everyone I meet at the airport. Why not? I’m never going to see them again and I don’t want to be my boring, regular self. Yesterday when Read More…

Writing Holiday Cards Is Making Me Hate Everyone I Know

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A number of years ago, I decided that I was absolutely hilarious and it was very important that all of my friends and family be made aware of this. My lightening bolt of inspiration struck on a snowy Christmas afternoon, when after constructing a Calvin and Hobbes inspired snowman scene in my father’s backyard, I was so taken with my craftsmanship, I determined it had to be made available to the public. Thus, I was thrust into a special kind of holiday hell: the Christmas card. Naively, I thought what better Read More…

It’s The End Of The World As We Know It…And I Feel Fine

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So this is it? Friday is the big day. We’re all going down, right? According to a bunch of dudes who wrote a calendar thousands of years ago, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. It’s the end of days, which sounds like it could suck, but I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve decided, maybe it won’t be so bad. The one thing that has always bothered me about dying, is that the party still goes on but I’m no longer a part of it. I think about all of Read More…

How To Beat The Sunday Blues

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Every week on Sunday around 4 p.m. I look at the clock and realize I only have about seven hours left until my weekend is officially over. A panic begins to set in as I start a countdown until my midnight bedtime, where I’ll have to pack it in and start my work week all over again.

Go Stuff Yourself!

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A vegetarian alternative, for your Thanksgiving dinner. A few hundred years ago, the Indians were nice enough to donate all of their land and worldly possessions to the settlers of this great country, so in return, I’ve decided to pay it forward and spare a turkey. Seems like an even trade. So maybe you can too! Now before you go calling me a communist for even suggesting that you not dig into these delicious little gobblers on one of the biggest American holidays of the year, just look at this one. Read More…

How To Go To The Desert And Barely Make It Out Alive

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I don’t know anyone who wants to go on a vacation without the constant threat of death looming over them. Being from New York, I’m not happy unless my stress levels are so high, I can pop a blood vessel as easily as the four Xanax it takes to get me on a plane. So imagine my delight, when after planning what was supposed to be a relaxing week in Sedona, Arizona, I came to find out it’s actually one of the most terrifying places on the planet. Here is Read More…

The Stanley Saga: Part III

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I understand after the crazy week a lot of us have just had, not everyone is ready for the kind of nail biting drama that is the Stanley series, however I want to be done with this thing once and for all. So here it is; the harrowing conclusion of the Stanley Saga. After our falling out at the beach, I ditched Stanley and headed to Dublin. This left him with no choice but to reach out to the only other people he knew in Ireland; his friends from Limerick. Read More…

Sandy Says: No Halloween!

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I’m just going to mention before I start this article, that I was on the phone with my Oma yesterday and she was telling me how she enjoys my posts, however she doesn’t like when I use the “f-word” and such, which is funny because she curses on a fairly regular basis, only after every time she says “Oh mein Got, Kelly muffin. You know I’m not zupposed to zay zet.” as if stating so will neutralize the fact that she just has. Either way, her birthday was yesterday so Read More…