How To Get Your Autumn On In A Normal Amount Of Time


Are those VIP pumpkins?

OK, so last year I wrote a post called How To Get Your Autumn On In Under Six Hours which was fine, but awfully ambitious. This year I’m not feeling quite so motivated. While I have managed to knock out a couple of traditionally fall type activities, they’ve been spread out over the month and started as early as September. If you’ve been struggling to get into the spirit of things as well, don’t freak out. You’ve still got time. Here’s a list of things you can do before the winter comes to make you feel like you didn’t waste your life completely during the changing seasons.

Go To A Fall Event


C’mon, they’re everywhere. From corn mazes to Oktboberfests, it’s hard to walk out of the house without being assaulted by flyer with a gourd on it. If you don’t live in an urban area, just look in your local newspaper or use this nifty thing called the internet to find ONE apple picking opportunity before the ground freezes over and the mood to make a pie has left you completely.

I was especially fortunate this year in that I was invited by my friends the Maniac Pumpkin Carvers to Harvest in the Square, a celebration of local food and drinks, that works to support Union Square Park.


 The maniacs even carved pumpkins for neighboring businesses.


And I just went around pretending like I was their official photographer so I could eat and drink everything without a proper press badge.


Zombie Collage

Work eating into your leisure time? No problem. You can have some Halloween fun from the comfort of your cubicle. I’ve spent hours playing with  PicMonkey’s creepy filters to where every one of my friends is officially a zombie or a vampire on my phone.


This is what pops up whenever my brother calls.

Make S’mores Dip

This could not be easier. Buy yourself a campfire scented candle and light it in your living room. Then follow this seven second video on how to make what looks like the most delicious thing ever created in the universe. If you put on Friday the 13th, you’ll have your fall spirit covered without actually having to spend the night freezing your ass off and running out of beer at a lake somewhere while your friends struggle to come up with “scary” stories. If you’re really determined to feel like you’re in the woods, just watch the movie in the dark while shining a flashlight up your nose.

Speaking of scary stories…

Read A Scary Book


This one comes to you from my friend over at He compiled a list of truly terrifying books to read and on his recommendation, I’ve been freaking myself out on a nightly basis before I go to bed with Joe Hill’s 20th Century Ghosts. Joe Hill is Stephen King’s son and they have very similar writing styles. In that their stories are seriously disturbing yet there’s never much of a conclusion. I’m still wondering what happened to half of the characters in this book.

And finally, if all else fails, you can just take a walk around your neighborhood. Is there a tree there? Look at it. It probably has some pretty leaves that used to be green but are now orange or yellow. That’s called foliage. And people freak out over it. With these simple steps, there is NO excuse for not being festive during the fall for at least a couple of minutes! Now get out there and do it!

I’ll expect a full report in the comments section upon your return.

  • Alisha

    Ah I love Fall! Those pumpkins are amazing!

    I wrote all about how much I love Fall once

  • Gabriele

    I did it. On a beautiful fall day this weekend I went to a corn maze and later that night a freaky haunted hayride with 3 of my favorite people. Kelly, Jeffrey and Chuck. Lots of laughs, lots of fun, and enjoying the fall. I feel satisfied regarding the fall. Just love it!

  • Rochelle Migliore

    Great post, Kelly!

  • senior blanco

    i gonna make a dat dip real good

  • Damien

    This is fantastic! Great photos, too. When it comes to horror, I am an unforgiving prick. And let’s be honest, scaring people with a book is so much more difficult than scaring people with a movie. You have to employ a seriously strong set of writing and rhetorical skills and combine those with a strong sense of the morbid and disturbing. It’s tough! But when people talk about how horrifying this book was or that book and I immediately read it and often say, “Nope. Crap. Next.”

    I was so happy to see that you highlighted 20th Century Ghosts, as it’s one of the best books of horror I’ve ever read. There are some seriously disturbing and spooky stories in that collection. I would also add John Connolly’s The Nocturnes and M.R James’ complete collection. Absolutely phenomenal.

    Great post, K! I bet if we lived in the same city we’d be in a graveyard this weekend reading spooky stories over a flashlight and cranked on vodka.