I Have A Really Low Tolerance For Bullshit

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Photo from spectrum culture.com

Twice in one shift last week, I had clients say to me after some major theatrics, like hyperventilating for six straight minutes and nearly jumping off of the table while I was lasering them, that “This is so weird, because I normally have a really high tolerance for pain.”

It made me wonder. How on Earth does someone know that about themselves?

Nothing really hurts anymore. At least not enough to be confident that you could rival Mel Gibson in Braveheart under agonizing circumstances. There are drugs for everything. Going to the dentist is more stressful than actually painful and women can’t even cite child birth these days because anyone who isn’t completely insane has an epidural or a C-section.

Unless you’ve had the distinct privilege of dozing off while being strapped to a chair and beaten with a nail studded 2X4, how many of us can really gauge our ability to withstand pain? I’m guessing not a lot, however it’s such a common claim, you would think we were still living in medieval times and half of us spent our Saturdays trapped in iron maidens or laid out on racks.

Here’s my theory: Laser hair removal can be an uncomfortable process, so if you’re bouncing all over the place while you’re having a treatment, you probably have a perfectly average tolerance for pain, yet your ability to manage said pain is less than stellar. Unless the ability to manage pain is exactly what having a high tolerance for it means, in which case you most likely have a low tolerance for pain and are probably just full of shit.

  • Rochelle Migliore

    It’d be pretty funny to see what everyone’s most annoying comments heard at work are 😀

    • Kelly

      I love it. Do you have any? I could write a book from when I was bartending.

  • Rochelle Migliore

    The ones that bug me most are the unanswerable questions, like “you got enough dogs?” Or this happened the other day, a guy yells out of his car as he’s driving past me, “HEY! CAN I FILM YOU? YOU’LL SIGN A WAIVER, RIGHT?” What the…..???

    People barking at me is pretty annoying too.

    But most people have wonderful reactions that I love to get. I love encountering kids, they’re so great. I got a standing ovation from a group of elder women, that was a favorite for sure. The best one of all was years ago. I was walking by a church where a funeral was just ending and people were walking out. There was an older woman walking out very distraught, with some people around her consoling her. She looked up and saw the pack, and for a minute, her whole face brightened up and she stopped to watch us and just smiled a sweet, beautiful smile. That’s been my favorite reaction ever since :)

    • Kelly

      I just laughed out loud at the “you got enough dogs?” line. Stupidity never ceases to amaze me. I love just looking at your pictures so I imagine you get a lot more good reactions than bad at your job.

  • Lisa

    I’ve been told my pain tolerance is very high, but it’s not something I noticed myself. Like, when I broke my toe on a beautiful spring day, it turned black as night, but it was not going to stop me from walking around the village and ending up at a comedy show late that night. Or… When I ripped the cartilage in my chest from carrying too many drinks with my tray on the left. I tried to keep working. Yes… It hurt, but I thought I could manage it. I just usually assume everyone is a big baby! LOL

    • Kelly

      Only you would hurt yourself carrying drinks.

  • http://www.amateurvagrant.com Rae

    I used to work with a bunch of linguists and they would get super mad about certain things. Like guaranteed you could get one to wave her arms and shout “Adverbs don’t exist!” if you asked someone within earshot what part of speech “very” is.