The Stanley Saga: Part III

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I understand after the crazy week a lot of us have just had, not everyone is ready for the kind of nail biting drama that is the Stanley series, however I want to be done with this thing once and for all. So here it is; the harrowing conclusion of the Stanley Saga. After our falling out at the beach, I ditched Stanley and headed to Dublin. This left him with no choice but to reach out to the only other people he knew in Ireland; his friends from Limerick. Read More…




Sandy Says: No Halloween!

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I’m just going to mention before I start this article, that I was on the phone with my Oma yesterday and she was telling me how she enjoys my posts, however she doesn’t like when I use the “f-word” and such, which is funny because she curses on a fairly regular basis, only after every time she says “Oh mein Got, Kelly muffin. You know I’m not zupposed to zay zet.” as if stating so will neutralize the fact that she just has. Either way, her birthday was yesterday so Read More…




How To Get Your Autumn On In Under Six Hours

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I love October! There’s so much to do. Each year at the beginning of the month I can’t wait to go apple picking and spend Sunday afternoons at German beer gardens and watch scary movies and visit haunted houses, all while wearing a woolly grey sweater that I knitted myself in front of a fire, or three custard-scented candles rather. And each year by the end of the month, I have done exactly none of these things. In fact I’m lucky if I spend an hour frantically running around a Ricky’s Read More…




The Stanley Saga: Part II

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It’s time for another Stanley installment. As most of you know, this past spring I was asked by my friend Lisa if I would allow a little guy named Flat Stanley to join me on my trip to Ireland so that he would have all kinds of information to share with her son Cairo’s kindergarten class upon his return. At first I couldn’t have been more excited, however after a couple of days with this terror, spent trying to thwart his awkward sexual advances and keep up with his healthy Read More…




Put A Sock In It!

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A few days ago I had an intervention of sorts. Two of my beloved co-workers, Saime and Jen, both of whom are considerably younger than me and well versed in the current stylings of the kids these days, sat me down for a little “talk”. Seeing as I’ve been fired from over a dozen jobs, I figured that’s what was happening, which wasn’t so bad because at least I could leave early and hit the gym. Much to my dismay however, what they had to discuss with me was way more Read More…




Whooty Girl Rectified

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I’ve noticed as I get older I struggle with technology more. I work with a number of women in their early to mid-twenties who, on a fairly regular basis, roll their eyes at one another and sigh in exasperation when attempting to explain to me how hashtags on Instagram work. I get that it’s a complicated field to keep up with. However a recent situation with my father made me realize that my parent’s generation is out of control and they need help. When I posted my Whooty Girl Gone article a Read More…




How To Spend A Ton Of Money, Trying To Save Money, On Picture Frames

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Last year when I moved into my apartment, I wanted to be thrifty with the decorative elements, so I decided to make my own picture frames. I watched a couple of videos on YouTube about how to use distress ink and then made a quick jaunt to my local craft store to buy a couple of ink pads and maybe some glittery powders if things got out of hand. FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS and forty crafting items later, and it seemed I was ready to make my super cheap wall hangings. Read More…




The Stanley Saga

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So I guess people my age are having kids now, or rather, have been for the last decade. It definitely seems like I’m losing more and more of my friends to their offspring, so I thought I would share a post that parents of young children might relate to. I don’t have any kids, but about six years ago my friend Lisa had, like, the best one ever. His name is Cairo and he lives in Florida. Recently his kindergarten class was tasked with finding the most interesting person in their lives Read More…




Whooty Girl Gone

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I started to notice a couple of years ago that I can’t dance anymore. It was really bothering me so I mentioned it to my brother and he laughed. I was so relieved. “I know, that’s ridiculous right?” I responded. At which point he told me he was laughing because I ever thought I could dance in the first place. Then I was horrified. Naturally I started barking at him all of the very specific times and places that I had been grinded on over the years as he walked out Read More…