Slackers Inc.


Because slacking off can be hard work. Let me do it for you.

Isn’t this guy supposed to be like the fastest animal in the world? No wait, the cheetah is the fastest animal in the world. Well how hard could that be when this is your competition? Actually, I shouldn’t talk. I spent yesterday wrapped in a bathrobe (leopard print) sipping tea on my couch, with every candle in the house ablaze, telling my cat how special he is. Am I seriously putting this online? Oh! Also I watched The Purge. Awesome writing! No, just kidding about that. It was awful. Yet another thing I’m not sure I want to admit having done. ANYWAY. There’s been a lot of fun stuff on the internet as of late. Here’s the best of it. Enjoy!

The acting is probably the scariest thing about this promo for the new Carrie movie. Still, pretty funny.

I saw the man in this story in Union Square last spring and I asked him to write a poem for the Flat Stanley I was chauffeuring around the city at the time. I thought he was fantastic. So when I read about how horrible people had been to him online, I was sad. It’s really easy to sit anonymously, behind the safety of your computer and write the most awful things you can think of about a person, but it takes guts to sit out in the open and invite people to participate in something different. Check him out. I hope he’s still at it.

So the last link was a bit of a bummer. Good thing I found 30 interesting facts that will cheer you up. 

Being in weed delivery has got to be one of the stranger customer service jobs. I’m sure the benefits are awesome though.

What would you do if you didn’t care what people thought of you? I would probably just spend all day posting my honest reactions to everyone’s Facebook status’.

Don’t want your kids to go to college? Challenge them to do any of the things on this list and they may not have to.

Reasons to go to the beach other than salt in your hair and sand in your butt.

I still find Madonna to be one of the most interesting people on the planet. Ask her anything.

Everyone knows I have a total hard on for pics of NYC in the past. Pretty much anytime before I got here in 96. Here are some crime scenes from a long time ago, imposed on what the locations look like today.

You know what I don’t understand? If you’ve got forty bucks a night for a hotel, why can’t you just rent in the Bronx?

And finally, I love cheerleaders. And not in an ironic way. I think their unbridled enthusiasm, sparkly attire and stellar athletic ability are so much fun to watch that I had to include this video of them flinging themselves all over the place in bikinis. Besides, I have probably four male readers tops. I like to throw them a bone from time to time.

  • AwesomelyOZ

    Hey Kelly!

    In the future, don’t worry about slacking for me because I do enough slacking all on my own! :) Why is everyone being so mean to the typist?! How rude, poor guy. What was the story he typed for you? As much as I’d love for my son to go to college, its so expensive ugh and generally, kids don’t know what they want to do when they first enroll so kind of pointless. Doing those things on that list would be very impressive.

    Have a great weekend!

    • Kelly

      It was about what he imagined he might find in his travels. I mailed it off with the Flat Stanley. The guys was just so friendly and fun though. People say things on the internet that they would NEVER say to someone’s face and it’s just lame. But it’s also nothing new.

      • AwesomelyOZ

        Yes he looked clean and harmless :) People get cocky over the net, and usually at their core is cowardice. Nothing new but always pitiful to witness, especially at the expense of someone not deserving.

  • zoe

    You totally linked to me and made my whole day! Thanks!

    • Kelly

      Loved your post. Happy to do it.