Slackers Inc.

SantaCatBecause slacking off can be hard work. Let me do it for you.

Are we even going to pretend like anyone is getting anything done today? I will be actually. My Christmas shopping, that is. And a whole day earlier than I’m used to which is making me feel like I’m really ahead of the game this year! However when it comes to work, tis’ the season to surf the internet while watching the clock count down to mid day, where you can finally pack it in and slip past your boss who’s too hungover to notice or care that absolutely no one is left in the office. Here are some fun links to get you through to 1 o’ clock.

I am the WORST when it comes to asking for Christmas gifts. If put on the spot, I would have probably sputtered something like “Shampoo!” and then run away, leaving me with a gift even more lame than the guy who got socks in West Jet’s awesome Christmas stunt. 

I kinda hate myself for not coming up with the Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog.

Sometimes I get annoyed with how the whole women’s liberation movement screwed us modern day ladies because now we’re expected to have jobs and make money and leave the house when I feel like I would be perfectly happy staying in all day while somebody else worried about getting the rent check out. Until I read something like the Good Housewife’s Guide from a 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly and I’m like hahahahahahahahahaha! Yeah, that would never happen.

“Girls need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks of them because they’re perfect the way they are.” Have you not seen this kind of bullshit plastered all over the internet in memes and Facebook updates? No girls, you’re not perfect the way you are. No one is. And to have to tell yourself that to deal with the fact that a boy dumped you is a little silly. Read this instead!

From What Writer’s Block Would Look Like If It Were Described On WebMD:

Writer’s Block very much exists; it is simply misunderstood. It is not a lack of new ideas or inspiration. Instead, Writer’s Block is a direct result of negative emotions that interfere with the ability to create.”

I’m hoping this is what happens to the new luxury condos that are going up where 5 Pointz is being torn down.

Written proof that kids are the most horrible (and hilarious) creatures on the planet.

Was not expecting that.

My nephew Cairo is FINALLY Starting to lose his teeth. However, it’s kind of crazy to think that he’s basically a monster out of a horrible Sci-Fi movie underneath all that skin.

I’m going to hit you with some Bill Murray right now.

And just because it’s Christmas, I’m going to do it again. 

And then speaking of new folks that look like old folks, here are some celebrities who look like historical figures.

Now get the hell out of the office! And if this is the last time we speak before the holiday, I’m just gonna go ahead and be all politically incorrect and say

Merry Christmas!

  • Amber

    Thanks for the link Kelly! That Housekeeping Monthly article, oh my… When I see that stuff like that was actually taken seriously at one point, it makes me wonder what we’re writing these days that people will link to in blog posts 50 years from now and follow with a “hahahahahahahaha”

  • http://thefearlessscribe.blogs

    Loved the Williams-Sonoma Haters Guide. Hilarious! The poor, nervous guy singing on the X Factor made me cry. I love your links!! Merry Christmas to ya!

    • RheelDaze

      I just can’t even watch stuff like that guy being so nervous and then killing it without bursting into tears. The internet is constantly proving to me what a pussy I am.

  • Rochelle

    I keep meaning to write what a good job you’re doing on your posts, but by the time I’m done reading I have to take a nap. One of the things I’m learning in my first trimester is how energy intensive everything is. I have to nap after doing things like reading, going for a walk, going poop, taking a shower and waking up. Good work Kelly! :)

    • RheelDaze

      Ha! You need a nap after taking a shit?! Wow. Well then I definitely understand being worn out by this crap. Hahahaha! I kill me. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I’m really excited for you. Keep me posted on your progress!

  • http://www.wanderlyn.com/ Eternally WanderLyn

    Merry Christmas to you! I hope you are enjoying your holidays surrounded
    by family and friends. I just wanted to let you know that I nominated
    you for Liebster Award. Sorry if it’s inconvenient, but I’d love to read your answers. :) You can find the details on my blog. Happy
    Holidays! – Lynsey

    http://www.wanderlyn.com/the-liebster-award/

    • RheelDaze

      Thanks Lynsey! I hope you have a fantastic holiday! I’ve seen the Liebster Award before. I really appreciate it!

  • Lloyd Man

    While working for the government I provided the 1950s Housewife Rules to one of my team members as a joke. I got dragged in front of a disciplinary board. Some people just have no sense of humor.

    • RheelDaze

      Haha! Seriously? That is fantastic.