Slackers Inc.


Because slacking off can be hard work. Let me do it for you.

Believe it or not, I’m an extremely popular woman these days. I have five, count em, FIVE weddings to go to this spring/summer and one bachelorette party. I skipped the two bridal showers I was invited to because they’re against my general policy and with all of this other activity, had I not, I would have been sleeping in my car. And I don’t even have a car. So how much would that have sucked?

Aside from the workout these engagements are giving my wallet, where I’m really feeling the pinch is in the kitchen and at the gym. I’ve been anything but slacking in those departments and as it stands, I’m officially famished and exhausted. The pressure we put on ourselves to look our best during special occasions is ridiculous. I’ll be going to a total of five events, all of which will be populated by family members and it’s not like we live in Kentucky. The chances that I’m going to take home a cousin for the evening afterwards are slim to none. Not to mention, I have a boyfriend now. I suppose that really should have been my first reason for ruling out any potential hookups at these shindigs but it’s been so long since I’ve had one that I often forget that I do. Sorry honey! You understand…

Vanna, who recently lost twenty pounds due to the stress of a new job, has since settled in and begun to get her appetite back. Ironically, this is causing her more stress but not the good kind that keeps her from craving every pastry in sight. She sent me a text message the other day saying “It’s an unfortunate truth but really, the only way to stay skinny is to not eat. This sucks.” I couldn’t agree more. All this nonsense about “it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change” can eat me because then at least something wouldn’t be starving. The only way I’ve ever been able to lose weight is to kill myself at the gym and practice what feels like severe food deprivation. And as I get older, it only gets harder. So with that said I’m going to get to the links now because I have to spend the rest of my day juicing the vegetables I’ll be drinking over the weekend and then going to a kickboxing class which I can barely stand through due to malnutrition. But hey, I’m dropping pounds! And is there anything more important in the world than being thin?

I think people who say they hate airline food are crazy. I love it! But then again I can chew it up and swallow it, so why would I feel any other way? However, if you’re one of these people who cringes at the site of a neatly compartmentalized tray crammed with all kinds of exciting edibles, turns out it’s all your fault.

With the pot smoker’s national holiday of April 20th just having passed, I thought I would check in on Colorado and see how they’re faring now that any lunatic can pick up an eighth. Turns out, the city is still standing. 

Is The Internet Killing Religion? Dear sweet baby Jesus, I hope so.

I think we should all stop taking pictures of our food, but Martha Stewart especially.

More traveling tips for visiting America. This time from Russia!

Americans are delicate buttercups by Russian standards, so be gentle. They get all touchy when you show up at their house uninvited and get their feelings hurt just because you hang up on them when you’re done talking.”

If soccer looked like this all the time, it might actually be watchable.

I’ve recently committed to eliminating as many chemicals from my life as possible. These five installments from Food, Booze & Baggage on how to avoid chemicals in your beauty routine have been extremely helpful.

The NYPD launched a Twitter campaign asking New Yorkers to upload their favorite photos of themselves with their local friendly policemen and women and this is what ensued. See how friendly?

We’ve had some issues getting girls AND boys to show up to games towards the end of our kickball season. One team captain’s letter to his teammates sheds some light on the situation.

Number 2 on a list of Top 10 Things I’m Too Old To Wear really bummed me out especially since 35 was the cut off. I love my ripped jeans!!

You mean to tell me that competing with all of my peers for what is essentially the biggest piece of pressurized carbon isn’t a completely legitimate way to spend my time? Who would have thought?

I know he’s a bit of a tool but I’m starting to like Russell Brand more and more.

I’ve always thought children were some of the most most terrifying creatures on Earth however this link proves unequivocally that they are.

My boyfriend (God, it’s weird saying that) has got me so wrapped up in Game Of Thrones that I’m actually turning into one of those geeks that watches the “Inside The Episode” features and studies the history of the seven kingdoms and searches for insider information on plot points, which is funny because I taunt him relentlessly for doing the same thing. At any rate, after coming to know these characters so intimately in the fantasy world I’ve grown accustomed to seeing them in, it’s weird to look at the cast just having a day at the beach. 

And just so we end on a high note, here are sixty photos that will make you feel good about human beings. For the most part anyway.

Ok, I gotta split. There’s half an egg white waiting for me in the fridge.

Enjoy the weekend!


  • Bailie @ The Hemborg Wife

    I am totally into airplane food too and like cafeteria style food, if you have to line up and get a tray I am get super happy!

    • RheelDaze

      Hey you! I’ve been meaning to catch up because I was actually looking at your meals of the week last night and drooling over the ham, tomato and grilled cheese sandwich. Naturally it was your food post that first caught my eye. Cafeteria food is awesome as well. With airplane food I just love the surprise of it all. You never know what’s coming and it’s all so packaged and fun to open. Also, since I have never in my life been on a business trip, anytime I’m on a plane it’s because I’m going on vacation. Maybe the excitement of doing so contributes to my warm feelings about food at thirty thousand feet.

  • Food Booze & Baggage

    Thanks for the shout out Kelly!!! That bubble soccer looks like SO much fun! The creepy things kid’s say made me laugh out loud (maybe something is wrong with me). Have a great weekend!

    • RheelDaze

      You got it! I can’t believe how awesome this new deodorant is. The application is a little weird but totally worth it. I’m sold. Next on my list is the low poo shampoo because too many people have expressed your dislike for the baking soda method and I don’t want to go through three weeks of hair horrors to find out that ultimately this doesn’t work for me. Also, I’m going to switch to using coconut oil as a moisturizer once my Oil Of Olay runs out. That’s going to be a bit of an adjustment for sure.

      • Food Booze & Baggage

        Yes, that is the biggest adjustment to it but after a while you don’t think about it. That method has to work for some folks…I mean they can’t put it on the internet if isn’t true, right? 😉 I’ve heard good things about Acure, which comes at a reasonable price. My issue with the coconut oil is that it takes so long to soak in. Make sure to be very careful about not getting it on your clothes (it will leave oil stains). I’m trying a DIY body oil this week that I’m kind of liking…I love my DIY body butter and it is easy enough but the body oil is just pouring oils in a bottle and done.

        • RheelDaze

          Yes! Exactly. I cook with coconut oil all the time and it gets on my hands and I spend five minutes rubbing it in and it feels icky so I don’t know how much I want to do that to my face. And I never thought about the stains. Good point.

  • Michelle

    Just try not to take a 2 hour nap during an open bar wedding in your parents car like you did for mine. P.S. Jeff won’t care if you take me home P.S.S. Yet one more thing we have in common, addicted to Game of Thrones and now I too find myself watching the extra footage on what the writers were thinking when they wrote it.

    • RheelDaze

      What a surprise! Ladies and gentlemen we have the first of many references I will be subject to over the next three months about the time I was 19 and drank too much tequila at my cousin Michelle’s wedding causing me to pass out in the back seat of my father’s Volvo before dinner was served. For anyone who doesn’t know, I am now THIRTY FIVE yet this low hanging, booze soaked fruit continues to be the bane of my existence any time I am with family and talk of a wedding arises. I suspect if it has gone on this long, I can most likely look forward to a lifetime of remarks chastising me for a poor decision made seventeen years ago but then my family are not one to let things go. Just look at how long we’ve hung on to that damn chocolate Easter bunny. I fear my only recourse will be to do something considerably more embarrassing during this year’s wedding season so that I will never again be reminded of my time spent successfully convincing a parking attendant to give me the keys to a vehicle while trying to keep both eyes open. Thank you Michelle! I wish I could say I had nearly forgotten this however it was brought up numerous times during my last visit to Texas. Looking forward to seeing you in June though! Granted I can still stand after the “I do’s”.

  • Awesomely Over-Zealous

    I have too many comments that aren’t organizing – I’m still recovering from chaperoning this past Friday and I agree kids are HORRIBLE. Thankfully mine weren’t evil they were just EXHAUSTING! They just don’t stop moving and are constantly trying to race – WHY!? Love the bubble soccer it was hilarious seeing them flip over. That is so fascinating about the internet killing religion, I’m definitely part of that group with no affiliation although raised Christian. And Martha Stewart needs to have a pro food photographer with her at all times to stop horrible photos like that from being posted. It’s concerning – even with a camera phone, I’ve never seen food photos look so grotesque. Congrats on the bf lovey 😉 Hope to meet him when you bar opens up, which where is it going to be, which borough? Have a great one! -Iva

    And I totally agree about the bridal showers – the day I get married that will not be happening, just a bachelorette party and that’s to get drunk not gifts. No need for all that nonsense. I’m dying over your kitten photo it’s so freakin’ cute! Ok I’m OUT!

    • RheelDaze

      Iva I think it’s safe to say that you write my favorite comments. I love how through you are and what attention to detail you pay. Who else would quite literally go through every link and leave a clever response for every one??The bar will be opening around early July now. These things always take longer than anticipated but if you happen to be in NYC earlier than that and are available please let me know so I can meet up with you outside of there. Good to hear from you as always!

      • Awesomely Over-Zealous

        Thank you Thank you :) I pour my energy into my comments so it’s good to know they’re appreciated 😀 Of course I’ma go through all of your links – they’re awesome! I don’t do that with all those Friday link posts because a lot of times, I just don’t care but we have very similar humor so I click all of them. Lol. It honestly doesn’t matter when I go as long as I go again before the year closes- my sister would hate me if I didn’t go. Plus, my dad is there. He’s gangster gotta see him. I’ll talk to the bf although he won’t care – either way, if we go and your bar isn’t ready I’ll be happy to go up for the day with friends. Is it going to be in Manhattan/Bronx/Brooklyn..? :)

  • Nina

    I love airplane food too, but then I’m British, it’s not like we’re famous for our high standards in culinary delights:-p Game of Thrones is totally addictive and I refuse to believe that those beach pics are real. Next you’ll be saying that TV isn’t real and start casting aspersions on the Easter bunny. I won’t haves it, I tell you! *breathe*. Anyways, glad to hear all’s good with you and have a tequila or 3 for me at the wedding(s) :-)

    • RheelDaze

      Nina! Long time since I connected with you last. And I even have your page up on my screen and that’s why it’s all red (Mr. Tang, love that song you put up! Sounds a lot like Iggy Pop) Glad to hear you appreciate airline food as much as I do. I’m not sure American fare is quite so distinguished either so we’re in the same boat. And YES. Those beach pics definitely too a little bit of the fantasy out of my weekly escape. Should avoid that in the future for sure.

  • Alisha KP

    I love airplane food. Do yourself a favour, and book yourself a holiday on Air New Zealand one day. The food is supreme. Also, nice work on the boyfriend front! Find a nice American and send him my way, will ya? x

    • RheelDaze

      I love foreign boys and in your case an American one would be just that. I’ll see what I can do.