Putting positivity in its place! But only for a minute. I promise.
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About a week ago, a shower curtain that I had ordered from Bed, Bath and Beyond arrived packaged in what appeared to be a former forest. From the size of the box itself to the paper filling, the wrapping was so excessive, I could only assume about a quarter of the species in the Amazon Basin were now searching for a new habitat on account of my most recent bathroom accessory. Ironically, the curtain I ordered had a giant tree on it which now serves as a daily reminder of all that gave their lives so that the very bendable plastic of my shower lining wasn’t cracked or shattered en route to my apartment. Honestly, there was about a twelve foot crinkled paper snake swerving through my kitchen after I was done sifting through it looking for the 8 inch X 8 inch product it was there to protect.
I mean, has the condition of our environment not gotten so out of hand that this should just be considered obscene by now? Has NO ONE from Bed, Bath and Beyond watched a documentary or read an article on climate change and the irreparable damage that destroying vast amounts of rain forests will do and is doing to the Earth? There are lyre birds in the jungle that can’t get laid now because their mating calls mimic the sounds of chainsaws and car alarms instead of harmonious tweets and love songs, all so I can have a material which is commonly used as protective packaging itself delivered to me in so much protective packaging you’d think I had ordered a nuclear warhead. Which I might as well have given the carbon footprint that my purchase has now left on the planet.
Solution:
Let’s start with Bed, Bath and Beyond maybe turning on the Discovery Channel once in their lifetime and educating themselves as to the damage they are doing with their incredibly irresponsible shipping practices. Perhaps sending something as insignificant as a shower curtain in an envelope like this would be a good start:
However, since the damage was already done, I took it upon myself to devise yet another solution to the packaging problem. I spent my entire afternoon folding it into this accordion style pile…
And then turned it into wrapping paper!
I would have liked to get more creative with these, maybe using colored markers to decorate them and tying around a fancy ribbon but I was late when I was heading out the door to deliver them so this is what my girlfriend got. But you can see the potential. I’m sure next time I’ll put a little more effort in since I have enough wrapping paper now to last me through the next six Christmases.
Until next week, cheers! And if you’d like to leave a bitch you can link it here below.
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