Weekly Bitches

Kelly Button Weekly Bitches-2-01 copy

Putting positivity in its place! But only for a minute. I promise.

Bloggers, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about for a little while now and it may be a slightly sensitive subject, so I’m going to do my best to handle it in the most delicate and respectful way I know how. Yet if you’re a follower of this website, you should know not to expect much in that department, as I’m typically about as delicate as a bulldozer.

I’ve noticed a trend amongst the lady blogs ever since I started doing this in 2012. One that over the last two years has only seemed to grow exponentially. I touched on it briefly at the end of one of my most recent posts, however I think it’s gotten so out of control, that at this point, it deserves its own emergency briefing. You see, girls…it’s this whole positivity thing. I feel like it’s become, how shall I phrase this? A tad insane. (Look at that, I almost got through an entire paragraph without insulting anyone.)

And I say “girls” because I read a fair share of blogs written by men and never do I notice any of them bending over backwards to “think positive” or “achieve balance” or “live happy” or “be present” or “embody gratitude”. So why is it that women put all of this pressure on themselves to be perfect little joy vessels all of the time? You know, I didn’t even realize how fucked up my life was until I had a thousand people telling me it could be that much more satisfying if only I visualized this, or embraced that. And it’s not that I don’t want to do all of those things, I do! I mean, who doesn’t like being happy? And I’m totally all about gratitude, but with the state of the internet today, sometimes I feel as if we’re expected to wring the jubilance out of every last moment we encounter until all that’s left is one giant puddle of fulfillment and delight for us to splash around in until we drown in our own content.

Too much? Probably. But so is a lot of this positivity crap, and I think it’s time we put it in its place. But only for a minute!

Now please don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against anyone promoting healthier ways of living. In fact, I appreciate a lot of the posts I see on the subject, given I read them in moderation. So if writing words on wellness is your thing, you keep at it. Chances are, you’ll deliver me from some inevitable emotional crisis at one stage or another. However, I also think that in the interest of balance (hey now, balance! Right??) every once in a while, there should be a place that we can go, where we allow ourselves to be human for just a second, and really bitch the shit out of our day. Ladies, I give you that space:

Welcome to Weekly Bitches

 (Dudes, you can totally come too if you want)

First, let me give credit where credit is due. I got the idea for this link-up from Melyssa over at The Nectar Collective. I also just realized that her tagline is now “Positive Lifestyle”. Go figure. But that’s OK because Melyssa’s writing is very relatable and super down to Earth, so I never find myself overwhelmed when looking at it. Really, she’s great. In fact, I advertise on her site and so should you because she does a fantastic job of promoting mine. But ANYWAY, I’ve been keeping up with her work for a while now and she does a regular installment called Weekly Wishes where everyone gets together and talks about their goals for the week. I decided I wanted to do something similar, only my link-up would be about blowing off some steam. Then I thought, you know it’d kinda be funny if I did a little play on words and called mine “Weekly Bitches”, so that’s what I did and I hope she doesn’t sue me for copyright infringement, because if anything, this is simply a tribute to how successful her link-up has been.

So every Wednesday I’m going to post about something that’s been getting under my skin (this week’s post will mean that quite literally, as you’ll see). It can be big or small, serious or stupid but here’s the catch; since we’re all so into positivity, the one rule is, at the end the gripe, there has to be a solution. How do you like that? See, I can adapt. If you want to chime in, you can link to this feature on your blog and do your own Weekly Bitch (or if you don’t want to say bad words you can call it a Weekly Bummer or Banter or I don’t know, I won’t deduct points if you’re not comfortable with profanity) and then share it here with a link to your site.

Just to show you how ridiculously petty these can be, I’m going to start with something that’s been driving me nuts for a while now:

Weekly Bitch #1 Vitamin Water Zero Bottles

Zeros

I’ve been trying my darndest to give up Diet Cokes and Snapples because of the supposedly cancer causing agents in them like aspartame and sucralose, however I maintain the dignity of a three-year-old being force fed her peas when it comes to drinking water, so I had to find a flavored beverage that was low-calorie yet wouldn’t end up killing me in the long run. When I discovered Vitamin Water Zeros were sweetened with Stevia, I was thrilled! Until I tried opening one.

You would think these things contained plutonium with how hard they are to unscrew. I get anxiety almost as soon as I open the refrigerator door to reach for one. It’s insane. I’ve tried using my shirt, dish towels, a square drive industrial torque wrench. Nothing can get the caps off without first removing the top epidermal layers of my fingers due to those razor sharp little plastic ridges. How secure to Vitamin Waters need to be?

Solution:

I don’t know, maybe the Vitamin Water people should contact the people from SoBe and see what bottle model they’re using. SoBe doesn’t have aspartame in it, yet I don’t need a skin graft after I try to open one. Or maybe I can just buy SoBes from now on. How did I not think of that before?

Whew!

That feels better. See, now that I’ve gotten my bitching out of the way, I can go back to living positively with a clear head and a plan to find a Deli that carries SoBes. So if you’re looking for a little corner of the internet, where you can set aside serenity for a second and carry out a complaint, I got you. In fact, I’m looking forward to hearing about all of the different things that drive people nuts on other parts of the planet. And if not, well I guess I’ll just be here bitching by myself. But what else is new?

Cheers!

P.S. I’m not big on buttons but if you want to grab this thing, by all means.

The Rheel Dqze

 

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  • http://www.diariesofanessexgirl.com/ Kate Hall

    Haha, I actually really like this concept and I completely agree that positivity is all over the blogging world lately. I am even guilty of it from time to time, however, I think it’s because it promotes me to write positively and be grateful for things in my life, which is a lot harder than complaining.

    There’s something to be said for all the positivity… in moderation ;).

    • RheelDaze

      I’m totally guilty of it. I wrote a whole post on how to be more productive and then totally stressed myself out when I couldn’t live up to my own advice. I’m certainly not suggesting that we ditch positivity. I think it’s important, I just need a place to vent every once in a while and THEN I’ll get back to being positive. So if ever you do, I’d be happy to hear your gripes! Thanks Kate!

  • http://www.wanderlyn.com/ Eternally WanderLyn

    I love this idea. I mean, nobody can be positive 24/7!

    • RheelDaze

      Thanks Lynsey, I hope you’ll add one then! I always like how you inject your positivity with realistic expectations. You don’t seek perfection, nor do you preach it. Keep it up woman.

  • Awesomely Over-Zealous

    There is definitely way too much talk about positivity and it’s driving me bonkers because I’m pretty negative and bitchy. I like the art of complaining because you have to know when enough is enough 😀 I’m tired of that and pages/features that say “about ‘US'” – couples SHOULDN’T have blogs – get your own ish. I have a bf but that’s just disgusting. Just putting that out there. Happy Hump Day Kelly! -Iva

    • RheelDaze

      Haha! Oh my God, Iva, do you know how irked I get when I look at blogs that have someone’s wedding photo as their profile picture? I know part of it is just me being weird and bitter but there’s something so saccharine about it. You should expand this idea and add it to next Wednesday’s post. I love to hear your rants :)

      • Awesomely Over-Zealous

        Lol I should – it’s not saccharine – it’s what happens when you eat bad candy and spit it out: it just shouldn’t have happened.. it’s WRONG. I think it’s aiding in the emasculation of men. To be expanded on in a different post, haha 😛

        • RheelDaze

          I really do love your way of phrasing things. Bad candy. For sure!

  • http://breakthesky.net/ Manda

    Looooooooooooove this. I hear you on the too much positiveness in the blogging world thing! Not that there’s anything being wrong with positive, but there definitely can be things wrong with positive overload. Like, I am still working on catching up on my feed reader on the 2+ weeks I was away on vacation, and there’s a lot of… sugariness. I don’t know. It just seems like a ton of bloggers took a course in how to write about being uplifting and positive and happy and I missed it? Or maybe I’m just bitter towards anyone that had a great 2013 because mine sucked and that darkened my mood when reading all those blog posts, who knows. But a little bit of balance never hurt anyone!

    • RheelDaze

      Thank you! I really appreciate that. I was a little nervous to roll this out so it’s nice to hear I’m not the only one who’s a little burnt out by it. I just think we girls put way too much pressure on ourselves to always be happy. Being happy is fantastic but if we were always that way, we wouldn’t appreciate it as much. I want to be able to be in a bitchy mood from time to time without trying to get myself out of it by thinking positive. Sometimes it feels just as good to be annoyed. And also, the first contributor to this feature wrote a Weekly Bitch that blew my mind. All of the ones I’ve had lined up are kind of silly but she chose a topic that led me to believe this kind of venting may actually lead to healthy change here and there. You should check it out if you get a minute. the thumbnail with the red brick background up there. I hope you’ll join in to if ever the mood strikes. Thanks again!

      • http://breakthesky.net/ Manda

        I already have something in mind for a Weekly Bitch post 😉 Mainly because I’ve been wanting to write about (rant about?) it for a while and this gives me the perfect excuse!

        • RheelDaze

          I love it! I’m so excited!

  • http://www.stephinthecity.net/ StephInTheCity

    Well holy shit- I thought I was the only one who had trouble with those stupid Vitamin Water bottles. They are downright evil to the core.

    While my Mom was undergoing chemo, that was the only thing she could drink without getting sick (the “Go Go” flavor), and so I would buy them in bulk for her. I would also have mini panic attacks when I had to open one, and on numerous occasions, came very close to chucking a bottle through the window in my frustration.

    I always said I would write a letter to the company or call them, but I never got around to it.

    I will die a happy person if I never see a bottle of Vitamin Water Zero again.

    Great post, btw. :)

    • RheelDaze

      I’m really glad you could appreciate this. When my brother asked me last night what my first weekly bitch was going to be and I told him he was like “huh?” Then I made him open one and while he agreed it was maybe slightly abrasive on the skin, I’m not sure he thought it was worth writing about so I was thinking is anyone even going to know what the hell I’m talking about? And Go Go is my favorite. When I can get to it. Yes. They are evil.

  • http://mycreativenergy.wordpress.com/ Amy

    LOL – as I was reading I thought – ‘oh wow, this sounds similar to Weekly Wishes’ 😛 I actually found your blog through Melyssa’s – so it’s true, her sponsorships do work!

    Thank you, once again, for being unapologetically genuine! There are a shit-ton of positivity websites out there, but sometimes if I read too many of them, I just end up feeling like a useless-not adding enough to this world-negativity sloth. I just want to read something that’s funny with a dash of cynicism – that’s why I was so happy to find your blog :) You friggin’ rock!

    • RheelDaze

      Thanks Amy! That just made my day. Melyssa has sent a lot of great bloggers my way. She really does have a knack for connecting people. Well now I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m looking forward to checking it out. And if you ever need a place to bitch, you know where to go.

      • http://mycreativenergy.wordpress.com/ Amy

        Eek! (*panic*) – not gonna lie, my blog definitely leans toward the positive/fluffy side of things, but that’s just because I don’t let my mouthy cynical side write blog posts… that is – until Weekly Bitches came into existence 😉 I think it might be time to inject a little realism into my Sandblog 😛 Thanks for the response :)

        • RheelDaze

          You know, it really doesn’t have to be negative overall. You should check out what my friend Liz wrote in her weekly bitch. I was basically writing a bunch of silly stuff when I was thinking of all of the things I wanted to “bitch” about, but she wrote something so insightful and came up with a truly positive, healthy, solution that I actually felt comforted by her commentary. You should check it out. It’s the thumbnail above with the red brick background. It changed the way I’m thinking about doing this. Like, in that it can be more about recognizing what’s been bothering you and then taking steps to fix it. That’s pretty positive!

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  • http://www.lifeinprogress.ca/ Kathy@Vodka and Soda

    i think i just might join up because bitching is what i do best! 😀

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

    • http://www.therheeldaze.com/ RheelDaze

      You are second to none. In fact, every timeI look at your blog I feel like I need to step up my game. I’d be honored :)

  • Food Booze & Baggage

    You are providing a public service really..otherwise it’s puppies and unicorns until holding all the negative in gets too much and boom (you are yelling at that jerk who leaves the cart in the middle of the parking lot instead of walking their lazy ass the 100 feet to put it where it belongs). See I already feel better :) Love your profile picture!

    • http://www.therheeldaze.com/ RheelDaze

      You see, I never thought of that. If I end up stopping a homicide, I could be a hero. I’m glad you pointed that out! And in keeping with the car vibe, I hate when people don’t pull up right behind the car in front of them in my street and end up making two whole parking spots for themselves! Now we can both focus on puppies and unicorns :)

  • http://www.thekaridiaries.com/ Kari @ The Kari Diaries

    I think the reason people focus on positivity so much is because positivity represents hope. Life surely sucks like 50% of the time (ok, maybe less), but can you imagine if we just focused on the negative things and wrote/thought about them solely in a negative light. Like I ran today. And at certain points, like during sprints, I was down right miserable, thinking OMG I can’t possibly run another second. Yet, what kept me going? The thought that in less than 2 minutes I could walk again, maybe even rest! I can’t imagine if I only focused on the negative part of it (read: holy shit, I still have to run for 2 minutes and my legs are going numb and my feet feel like they’re gonna fall off. I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe. Do not fall off treadmill). Today, I imagined running along the beach and watching the sunset. Cheesy positivity, but effective. I didn’t die.
    However, after that long pointless rant (whoops!), I must say that I agree: I CANNOT stand blogs that solely focus on positive. I’m all for the light at the end of the tunnel, but if every time I visit your blog, you’re puking rainbows and shit. I can’t. You are not a real person. In fact, you are probably crying and digging into a pint of cookie dough as you write this facade.
    So what was the point of this? Well, I just wanted to write you a love story is all. And well, clearly, I’m an odd one. (Not really. Well probably).

    • http://www.therheeldaze.com/ RheelDaze

      The second half of your comment is what I’m reacting to in this series. Actually, it’s not any one blog that I think over does it with the positivity angle, it’s the collective efforts of dozens of them all doing posts on positivity that becomes overwhelming. I totally get it. People want to look on the bright side of things. And for a lot of bloggers, writing on positivity reinforces their own commitment to it, I just think, like what you said, that if there’s no room for being a real person, the material gets stale. But I’m a pretty optimistic person in general. In fact I’ve had to be since starting your running regiment at the gym the other day. Good lord, I thought I was going to die on that treadmill but I looked on the bright side, that once I was done I was meeting my friend for happy hour white russians. That got me through :)

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