Things I Did Instead Of Watching TV


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I love TV. TV is my friend. I get excited just thinking about it. When I’m at work and it’s the end of a long day, I rush home for no other reason than to sit on my couch and watch the stupidest shows imaginable. I swear I can feel the pleasure centers in my brain lighting up when I start a new Housewives episode.

TV keeps me company. Lots of times I’ll have it on without the sound when I’m doing things like writing or cleaning even if I’m not watching it. I never understand when people tell me they don’t have a TV. I’m always like “Why not? You should get one. They’re awesome.”

However, there are times when I think my TV habit gets in the way of me actually leaving my apartment and living a life. I can easily spend twelve hours in a day watching a marathon of a show I’ve seen eight times already. That can’t be good for me. There’s so much other stuff I could be experiencing. So I decided that for one whole month, I was going to shut it down. No TV for thirty days! There was no telling what I could accomplish without my friendly companion.

But then I went for like seven hours without Pat Keirnan and realized there was no way I was going to make it. So I basically spread my experiment out over a number of hours on a couple of Sundays. Lots of stuff happened though! Here’s what I did:

Learned A New Skill


About a month ago I got one of those fancy cameras you always see slung around the necks of people who look like they know what the hell they’re doing when it comes to taking a photograph, even though I would wager to say that the majority of those people are as clueless as I am and are mostly just taking pics of artisanal pizza for Instagram. Why? Because you basically need a PHD in engineering in order to operate one of these things.

I used to think photography was bullshit. Like who can’t take a picture? But after spending hours trying to figure out how aperture and ISO and shutter speed affect an image, I realized that photography is hard! There is a LOT that goes into taking a picture without using the manual setting, and reading the instruction booklet was like watching Prometheus all over again. So I enlisted the help of my friend Dr. Dan who was the photo editor of his high school yearbook (and took all the pics for my first Eye Spy) and got a crash course in digital gadgetry. Check out some of my photos.




All of these were taken at Five Pointz in Queens. This one of my brother is my favorite. Today is his birthday. Happy birthday Jefe!


Now if I could only get comfortable being one of those douchebags that you see walking around with professional looking cameras taking pictures of hipster shit like graffiti.

Finished A Project


I took an art class three years ago with my friends Jackie and Vanna. We made mosaics to decorate our apartments with, however there was a step to be completed at home. The grouting. For three years I’ve been hanging onto this thing, transferring it from one storage space to another, placing it out in plain sight as a constant reminder to “Finish me!” but to no avail. Finally the other day I pulled it out of the closet, rolled up my sleeves and sealed it once and for all.

It took fifteen minutes.

And now I have extra space in my jewelry drawer! Not to mention one more thing in my room that makes it look like an eleven year old lives here.


Made This Funky Water


Water is gross. But up until six weeks ago I had a diet coke habit so bad that I had migraines for two days after coming off it. Now I drink water all day and my skin looks lots better and I can sleep at night and all sorts of good stuff but that doesn’t necessarily mean I like it. So I thought maybe if I spruced it up a bit, drinking water wouldn’t be such a pain in the ass.

I took two big mason jars that I had sitting around and made blackberry/sage and watermelon/rosemary agua. I think I should have mashed up the blackberries because all I can taste are the leaves in that one but the watermelon is pretty good. Not so good I’d take it over a soda, but good enough to not make me go blech! after every sip which I do because I’m somewhat dramatic.

Did a DIY for my wall


Photo from

A while back in one of my Slackers posts I linked to a bunch of easy DIY projects for your walls. Making something interesting and personal to add to the decor in my living room sounded like fun, so I decided to take my own advice and try the string art.

What a holy nightmare this was. I didn’t want to make something like a stupid heart. My sting art had to be super complicated and impressive so that everyone who saw it would say “Oh my god, you MADE that?!”

I spent forty minutes trying to draw the silhouette of a giraffe to use as an outline and then another forty murdering my fingers while pressing in all the nails around it.


Then the fun part. Stringing!

Yeah right. My nails were so close together that it was impossible to weave the string around one without it popping off of another. I made it past the ankle on one leg and gave up. So what did I make instead?


A stupid heart.

This is obviously a piece of junk but I thought if I took an arty photo of it, all half in focus and half out like everyone’s doing on those crafty websites now, that it would distract people from how awful it is.

I mean, I don’t know. Is it working?

At the very least I have a homemade gift to give to one lucky family member at Christmas and I think Aunt Nicole, this has your name written all over it. Get excited!

Read A Book


You can’t do a post on not watching TV without including how you read a book, because every asshole who has ever argued against you watching television has at one point said to you “Read a book!” so that’s exactly what I did.

I loved this one and I don’t usually love books. Usually I think they’re OK. It’s about a kidnapping and involves lots of lies and twists and turns and surprises and I should really become a book reviewer if this whole blogging thing doesn’t work out.

ANYWAY. That’s what I did instead of watching TV. And I managed to wrap it all up just in time for Game Of Thrones which I don’t understand in the slightest, yet I watch every week anyway.

Peace! I’m out!

  • Charlotte

    LOL! You do need a phd in engineering to work those cameras, which is why my life tends to be documented on my iphone camera by default. Your pics turned out great!

    • Kelly

      The iPhone really gets the job done. This whole website before the Canon was done on the iPhone. I think I just fell victim to blog pressure from sites like a beautiful mess and gala darling and all their uber professional looking photos. I’m so easily swayed!

  • Jackie

    ummm…Drooling over your camera!! I want to get a fancy-ass camera like that to use, and especially for Ireland. Can I come check yours out to see what its like? I’m scared to spend a bunch of cash and then realize I didn’t get the best one for the price…oh and also that I have no idea how to use it despite my years of photography classes in college. xo 😉

  • Vanna

    Wow I am impressed! I almost had a heart a tac when you wrote that nasty thing about no tv for a month. I hope your TV does not here about that! Once again you have given me hope that I too can focus on something arty and fun to do away from my TV. I think I want to try the string art:) The only problem is it looks like something I could do while watching TV! Well I will let you know how it all works out!
    P.S. Send me a copy of the six point photos(the first 2) I want them in my house!

    • Kelly

      When I was doing the string art I was tempted to have the TV on in the background. I was like “No one will actually know.” But I felt like that would be a sham. So I kept Pandora on. It was well enough because I was so frustrated the whole time that I didn’t even hear the music, let alone the television, had it been on.

  • Gabriele

    I purchased a fancy camera for the purpose of snapping some wonderful and interesting photos. The range and depth is wonderful. But it weighs a lot and is big and bulky. I found myself finally using my phone for my camera! Go figuer. I’m not giving up on it, but as you pointed out, still have a lot to learn about it. However, your pics are great! So are some of mine. And I also love Game of Thrones…Winter is coming! They keep tellling us that…one day…it will come, and we can take some wonderful winter pictures as well.

  • Caitlin

    Man, I sure do love TV. And I know what you mean about not leaving, I do the same thing. My brain feels totally fried after watching it too much. Then Rob comes home and really wants to watch it to unwind and I just can’t!

    Gone Girl was the SHIT, I loved that book!

    • Kelly

      I’m trying to cut down to a couple of hours a day. My DVR was so chock full of The View episodes that it stopped recording everything else so I recently took that off my list. Baby steps.

      • Jeff

        Oh man, how do you like a comment on your page?? Taking The View off your DVR needs more than a like, i’m thinking a big high five icon of sorts.

  • Kelly

    Don’t get too excited. It’s only because Joy is leaving. Not because I’ve had an awakening of sorts.

  • Lauren

    Holy christ. You did so much. I don’t even watch that much TV, but now I’m like “Maybe I should get off the internet and GROUT SOME SHIT.”

  • Kelly

    Haha! Peer pressure! Now you need to leave your house.

  • Auntie Nic

    That’s so funny…I thought I was a prime candidate for receiving said “string heart” before I even got to that part. And I AM excited. I still have an embroidered heart you made about a thousand years ago hanging on my wall…it’s got Ms. Pac Man on it and everything. As it turns out, your mom did most of the work but who’s keeping track? Maybe next time the cat circus is in town you can come down and take pictures of it for your blog…two birds, one camera.

  • Manda Hardy

    This post inspired me so much I got up intending to go hang the washing out. I didn’t make it all the way, but at least I was out of bed temporarily!

  • Gabriele

    I meant to mention this before. Could it be possible that the picture of Jeff is your favorite of him…because your reflection is in his sunglasses? Hmmm? Could it?

    • Kelly

      Like, duh.

  • rachel

    i just found your blog. have spent way too much time reading all your posts. most fun i’ve had in a long time!

    • Kelly

      Thank you so much! So happy to hear it!

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